i planned to write a lot in here, actually spill my heart out... but i don't think i have much of one to spill.i woke up this morning and the pain in my eye i was complaining about metamorphamised into a huge puffy thing under my eye.
and i cried. i cried so much, i cried like a little girl who just fell over her shoe laces, i cried like the 3 year old who was coming out of Costcutters the other day called Katie... but was called Sausage by her mummy... i cried just like that because all of a sudden... i didn't look very pretty. and it's not that i think i'm great, but i don't like to put myself off my food...
and then my mum said something that was overly nice (it wasn't overly nasty either...) and i cried more and more.
and my eye hurt.. more and more.
i chose the doctor who actually LOOKS at his patients over the one who has his back towards you the whole time you're there... because, basically i was worried that after saying "i woke up this morning and my eye was swollen" he would reply "okay, you need to book an appointment at the hospital, we'll take that out right away, bye now" because he would, i know his sort.
for some reason my doctor took my blood pressure (perfect) and asked if i smoked... irrelevant i feel to the reason i actually went there, right?
he wants me to give up completely... "especially with your history of asthma" he wasn't even the little bit impressed that i'd cut down from 10 a day to 1-3 a day.. and sometimes NONE. i was impressed...
i might start a quitting diary, Holly's mum did that and she said it's one of the most interesting things to read in the world...
so i might... it's a good idea really...
um... people are starting not to like Kirsty a lot.. Kirsty is someone i have known since i was 5...4... and we have the same kind of relationship now as we did back then too... fall out, make up and repeat.. constantly...
but apparently, she rubs everyone up the wrong way... how is that possible? there i was thinking it was just a clash of our personalities... but no... she seems to grind on everyone and i can't put my finger on it at all, you know like with most people you're friends with you can excuse their faults like "well she's a loud old cow/ well he's an old bastard but he's well funny/ oh i know she's got buck teeth but..." with Kirsty... i can't pin it down and i wish i could because i think it would actually be so much easier for people to accept that flaw...
i don't know.
i miss Debbie... i miss her loads... i just wish she'dve kept in touch... and i don't know how to get back in touch with her at all... we had so many funny plans of being mums together... we were gonna get matching tatoos... i don't even LIKE tatoos... but i wouldve got one with her...
i miss being like two peas in a pod... having those jokes because it's not the same with anyone else.. it really isn't.
i wish she'd just get in touch. one call. :-/
Also: my future is so beyond me right now... if anyone knows how to write personal statements and cover letters please please please do not hesitate to let me know.
well holy fucking cow have i rambled in this entry...
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--------- e v e r y t h i n g b u t t h e g i r l ---------
Reflection - 2008-07-19
sleep vs awake - 2008-07-19
It's like space cadet, but not. - 2006-06-22
Lucky Me - 2006-05-13
In memory - 2006-01-15
