cried a lot last night for no reason imparticular.

for no reason imparticular the words "i hate you" rolled off my tongue constantly.

everytime this happened i wondered who i was talking to.

whenever i talk to myself i refer to me as "we"-> i suggest "we" "calm down"

my mother, i can tell, is concerned, i dont really know how to put her at ease.

i dont really plan to eat next week.

i dont plan to stick to that plan either.

i've gotten huge.

i'm so angry at myself.

i cant touch it either.

there are no words to explain what i am feeling. this is not pain, this is not a self-made bed of pins. this is a phase.

this is a mock up run through of all the things before the storm

something like this i think: Whenever she's feeling empty Whenever she's feeling insecure Whenever her face is frozen Unable to fake it anymore Her shadow is always with her Her shadow could always keep her small So frightened that he won't love her She builds up a wall Oh no, she knows where to hide in the dark Oh no, she's nowhere to hide in the dark She's a star She's a star She's been in disguise forever She's tried to disguise her stellar views Much brighter than all this static Now she's coming through Oh no, she knows where to hide in the dark Oh no, she's nowhere to hide in the dark She's a star She's a star Don't tell her to turn down Put on your shades if you can't see Don't tell her to turn down Turn up the flame She's a star She's a star It's a long road It's a great cause It's a long road Its a good call You got it You got it She's a Star

<<|>>

--------- e v e r y t h i n g b u t t h e g i r l ---------

Reflection - 2008-07-19
sleep vs awake - 2008-07-19
It's like space cadet, but not. - 2006-06-22
Lucky Me - 2006-05-13
In memory - 2006-01-15