i'm practically chewing my tongue, there's some serious tension beating itself out of my head and i cant deal with it, my eyes are filling with tears and all i want is to see him.

all i can see when i close my eyes is rivers of blood and my arm in shreds, because i am that stressed to be back home where my father is at work and my mother makes it her work to just be a hinderance on my calm.

she's twisting my mellow, might we say.

i'm so so spoilt, you wouldnt believe if i told you what we did on holiday, what was bought, what was consumed, where i stayed, how romantic everything is.

everyone seems to speak English in France, which makes me feel awful because when in Rome shouldn't you do as the Romans do?

the problem i had with my French lessons was the terrible crap they taught, for instance, when i am going to use "hello, my name is Fallon and i like to play tennis"? or "at the weekend i went to the cinema"

quite honestly i wouldnt attempt to say any of this until i had a good grasp on the language in the first place.

they never really put an emphasis on things like "how can i help you?" "can you please...?" "where is...?" "can you speak slower because my ears dont speed up just because your tongue does"

and another problem is that i'm obviously saying things wrong or my teachers are, there was always little practice on our accents and pronounciation, and really, isnt that key to learning a language? i got a B in my exams for French and when i try and speak the damn language i get an odd look and am asked- in English- to repeat whatever it was i said.

and then i blush and feel awful and useless.

i'm going to insist that myself and a family member- possibly Elsie- learns French with me.

writing of Elsie, i think my sister fed her too much while we were away, she sure is a fat little lump.

twenty minutes later

i'm sick of that foul mouthed bitch.

<<|>>

--------- e v e r y t h i n g b u t t h e g i r l ---------

Reflection - 2008-07-19
sleep vs awake - 2008-07-19
It's like space cadet, but not. - 2006-06-22
Lucky Me - 2006-05-13
In memory - 2006-01-15